[Hey everyone, I just wanted to apologize for being very, very absent lately.  I’ve been busy, on vacation, and not feeling well, so I haven’t felt up to writing Wheatley.  I haven’t abandoned you all, I promise.  I’ll get back to your regular dose of Wheatley once I get back to feeling myself.

Also, a quick hi to my 3 new followers!  Thanks for following this RP blog and I’ll have Wheatley give you a proper greeting once I get back into the swing of things.

Once again, sorry for vanishing and thanks for hanging in with me!  I really appreciate every single one of you, whether you’ve just followed this blog or have been chatting up everyone’s favorite Intelligence Dampening Sphere! <3  This blog would be nothing without all of you followers! <3]

factssphere started following you

Oh!

It’s uh…been a while, hasn’t it?  Didn’t leave on the best terms, did we?

Sorry about that.

It seems that my Internet has been well…less than reliable lately.  To be honest, the connection has been simply awful.  So, I wanted to get this out there before it dies on me again.

I’ve heard it’s around the human holiday time, so I wanted to tell everyone, including my followers, anybody who finds my blog, the brain damaged lady, just everybody, well, except her, I don’t think she likes holidays anyways, doesn’t know what she’s missing, anyways I wanted to tell everyone Merry Christmas. 

So….Merry Christmas!

And, if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I’ve heard some other holidays are going on, er, let’s see…I think they’re Hanukkah, yes, that sounds right, and um…Kwanzaa.  So, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa to those of you that celebrate them!

And, if you don’t celebrate anything at all, Happy December!

I think that covers about everything.

May all your holidays be…holiday-y and good luck with those presents!

If you have a chance to think of your ol’ buddy Wheatley in space, all I want for Christmas is to go home and be back on Earth.  That’s it.  Nothing more.  I’m not too picky, really.  But, barring that, I don’t mind some holiday wishes.  That’d be nice too.

Um, that may be true, I haven’t the foggiest idea, really.  Christmas is rather lovely either way, I do like all the lights.

Not that I’ve actually seen any in person, but I have seen pictures and heard about them, so I think they’d be rather nice.

Not everything about Christmas makes sense, but that’s humans for you.  Not going to complain though, even if putting all those lights on a tree inside is rather strange.  Or wrapping presents that you’re just going to tear open.  Rather strange, once you think about it, really.

girlcalledbob:

chattersphere:

girlcalledbob:

chattersphere:

girlcalledbob:

“Who that a lot to you?” Bob asked, tilting her head to one side; then she waved a paw dismissively, deciding she didn’t care. “Well, anyway, if you wanna find this lady friend of yours then you can count on me. I have connections. I mean, I made it to the moon! How wicked am I? I am wicked. So we’ll go and find her, and you can say… whatever it is you want to say, I dunno, I guess I’ll find out when we find her. Though I still think you have to do the revenge thing but I guess I’ll convince you of that later. Or something. If this she you keep talking about did nasty stuff to you, you just gotta get even. That’s how it works. What kind of a person… thing… are you? Get yourself a backbone or whatever the robot eyeball equivilent would be! Oh, hi SpaceMonkey!”

“Oh.” Said the SpaceMonkey, bouncing up to the space craft and floating gracefully inside. “You did find - it. Well done I - suppose. I suppose you want me to fly - back to Earth, now?”
“Well we weren’t planning on staying up here, were we?”

((I’m taking a break from NaNo today so I thought I ought to get ‘round to doing at least one reply for you. Not sure when the next will come though, I don’t feel all that wordy today.))

Wheatley rocked his frame up and down in his version of a nod, “Oh yes, finding the brain-damaged lady is first on the list of things to do.  Right there, up at the top.  Above everything else.  Not that the list actually exists, but if it did, it would be there.”

He then shook back and forth rapidly, almost in a violent way, “No no no, I’m fine without the revenge, perfectly fine.  Just absolutely fine.  Gave it a thought and it’s really not worth it, not worth it at all.  Too much risk and all that.  Rather not die again.  It was quite unpleasant the first time.  Just want to stay alive, staying alive is my favorite thing.  I’m pretty sure of that.”

((^_^  No worries at all and thanks!  Sorry my reply was slow, I had a headache yesterday.  @_@))

“Sounds to me like making a list is on the top of the list that doesn’t exist. Huh.” Bob scratched the side of her head. “Did that make sense?”

“No,” the SpaceMonkey told her, slamming the door to the spacecraft closed. “I’m taking us - home then.”
“Okay, cool, Monk! So, anyways, brain damaged lady - um, any idea where we should start looking? I mean, I can use all my fancy connections, but it’s nice to have like, a general idea. Country? Hemisphere? Planet?”

She let the idea of revenge drop for now. She was certain she could change the little robot’s mind, given time, because revenge on your enemies is of course very important. He’d figure that out eventually. With her help.
“This is going to be just so much fun.” She grinned.

“Um…I think so, yes, if you meant that we needed to write down the list.”  Wheatley replied.

Wheatley sat and thought for a moment, “I think Aperture is in America.  That’s about it.  Don’t know much about it, to be honest.  It certainly looked like America from space.”

He had decided that it simply was too much risk for revenge.  He was something of a coward and didn’t really want to face GLaDOS again.  Every time he had so far, it had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

“I… think that’s what I meant. Man, I don’t even know. We could do that, though! When we get back to earth ‘cause I don’t have any paper on this spaceship or anything…

America?” She blinked. “Huh, that’s weird, you sound British, like me. But, if you say so! Still it’s… pretty big. Like, way big. Hey, Monk, how big is America?”
“Don’t talk to me when - I’m driving.”
“Huh, okay. Still, narrow it down anymore, Wheatley?” Bob tapped his casing curiously. “Any idea about like, the state or anything like that?”

Wheatley thought on this for a few seconds, “I guess paper wouldn’t have much use in space.  Though, it might be nice to write things down every now and then, but I don’t have any hands, so I guess the point is rather moot, wouldn’t you say?”

He nodded in response, “I’m sure, more than sure, actually.  No idea why I sound different from everyone else, but there you go.  Doesn’t make much sense and I can’t explain it.”

Wheatley thought for a bit, then shook his optic back and forth, “I haven’t a clue, honestly.  Never been outside the facility and nobody thought to talk about its location around me.  Rather thoughtless, I’d say.”

thecutelunatic started following you

Hello! 

Er…your username says you’re a lunatic, exactly how sane are you?

girlcalledbob:

chattersphere:

girlcalledbob:

chattersphere:

girlcalledbob:

chattersphere:

((Thanks, mate. I’ll either do it when I’m done with my film, or maybe tomorrow - but it’ll get done, promise. and. um. ifyourstillupfordoingaseperaterpwithnon!squirrelmethat’dbekindofneat…))

((You’re welcome! ^_^ And there’s no rush! <3 Have fun with your film!

Oh yes, of course I would…

((Hah, well, don’t feel you have to take on more roleplays just on my account :P Real life business is more important after all.

Ah, going to bed now though - I’ll reply to our current roleplay tomorrow morning, promise.))

((Oh no, I’d love to, it isn’t a problem at all!  ^_^  lol, yeah, but I don’t have much real life stuff going on right now.  XP

Okay, have a nice night!  Yay!  And think about what you’d like to do for the other RP, okay?  ^_^))

((Well, for the other RP it would probably just be the same as the ones you do with everyone else, just chatting, only with human!Bob, instead of squirrel!Bob. Human Bob, despite occasionally going by the name of Bobzilla, is probably the saner of the two.))

((Sounds like a good plan!  :D  XD  Wheatley might enjoy talking to someone saner a little bit more.  XD

Sorry about the slow reply!))

((Got myself a dedicated RP blog for human, sanish Bob, so we could roleplay over there :) She’s thecutelunatic, I just followed you on there.

Bob the squirrel can continue on here, though, because it is insane.))

((Awesome!  :D  Thanks!  Odd, it didn’t notify me or e-mail me that you followed me.  :|  Did that when you followed me with this account too, very strange.

Okay, sounds good to me!  :D)) 

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

ladychraelix:

Heh, well… sometimes I go off on a tangent and it’s hard to shut me up too, so, on the off chance if we were ever to meet in real life, just tell me when that happens, ahaha.

Ehe… honestly, with how recently she had been woken up from cryosleep, I think it was that which made her misjudge the distance and miss catching you. Just a personal theory of mine, anyway.

Okay, okay, I’ll keep that in mind, I’ll let you know if you get a bit too chatty.  I need to talk too, you know!

Mmm, maybe, though that still goes back to the whole brain damage thing.  Messes with your…well…everything.  Since your brain is damaged and all.

Of course, of course.
‘course I might also just let you talk because you have an awesome accent…

I still stand by my headcanon that Chell wasn’t brain-damaged though. Still, what use is it to quibble when she isn’t around to ask personally? We’ll just agree to disagree.

Huh, my accent?  I mean, I know it’s not a common one in Aperture, but nobody seemed to like to listen to me, accent or no.

And even if she was around, she probably won’t answer anyways.  She’s like that, you know.

Y-yes, your accent… it’s a British accent topside, and… I happen to like them…

Mmn, right, the whole mute thing… that would make it a bit difficult to communicate, but not impossible. There is always communicating in writing.

Oh, you do?  Nobody’s ever said that to me, nobody at all.  They don’t comment on my accent, not one bit.  Usually if anybody says anything about my voice, it’s just “Shut up, Wheatley.”  Not very polite, really.  Quite rude.

…Ah, yes, yes, writing.  Good, very good.  Could work, yes.

Though, er, maybe, perhaps, there’s another way to communicate?  Need to think on that.  Writing is good and all, very lovely, but maybe there’s something else we can do.  Something not involving writing.

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

I’m not certain if that counts as logic, per se.

(Oh!  The buddy system, very clever!  Very clever indeed!  Hmmm…it takes a bit of er…constructing to make a mashy spike plate.  It helps if you’ve got a facility that has all the parts you need.)

She probably has hacker alarms installed, especially since she knows of my formidiable hacking skills.  Though, if you did it by Internet somehow, wouldn’t she not be able to tell where you were?  The Internet is everywhere.  So it’d be untraceable, I think.

Probably not, but again, it makes perfect sense to her… just not us.

(Yeah… I doubt a facility like that will be easy to come by just on the fly out here on the surface. So if you can lure an angel out over like… a 50 foot drop on to a stone or concrete surface, then that should work, but the trick is getting them there…)

Mmn, no, not necessarily. Each internet connection has a special identifier thing called an IP address, and unless you’re incredibly careful, the one getting hacked (in this case, GLaDOS) would be able to trace it back to its source, which would be your computer. You’d need some special equipment in order to conceal your IP, I think… that, or some fancy schmancy hacker skills that I have no idea what they are.

I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of things with her logic.

(I can’t imagine they’re too common, since there’s only Aperture and Black Mesa that I’ve heard of. 

Right, right, what if you had somebody just kind of standing there.  Use them as bait and all, then WHAM, no more angels.)

Oh..well.  That could be troublesome.  Don’t want her to know where you are.  That wouldn’t be good, not good at all.

(I’m not even sure if Black Mesa has mashy spike plates, to be honest… but that’s probably my having not played the Half Life games coming into play again. Oh well, no big loss.

Again, the trick is knowing when to turn around and catch them in the air. It’s harder than it seems, because you can’t warn your friend to turn around because if you’re watching them, then they don’t move. Best just to leave the angels alone, I think.)

Nope, definitely not good. Probably a good thing that I’m not really a hacker then, isn’t it?

(Ha ha!  There, you see, an advantage Aperture has over Black Mesa.  However, that also gives her new deadly things to play with.  Quite nasty.

Oh…that is troublesome.  Hmmm.  Well, what if they come find you?  Need to be prepared if they come waltzing along.  Don’t want to be caught unaware by those bloody things.)

Yes, I would think so.  Leave the hacking to me.  If you need anything hacked, anything at all, just say the word, and I’ll hack it right up.  Hack it to bits.

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

ladychraelix:

chattersphere:

ladychraelix:

Yes, Wheatley, I’m serious about this. I can think of at least three people on tumblr by name that would gladly take you in.

Well, most of us don’t see you that way, admittedly. I think the general consensus is that we’d like to get you back from space so that we could be your friends in real life. And mostly, it’s just… not knowing that you’re actually literally up there, and for those of us who do know, lack of resources. I mean, the vast majority of us don’t have much money (besides, what money we do have is mostly going towards Christmas gifts what with it being December and all) or have any ties with NASA, so… without either of those we don’t really have much of a chance.

Maybe. I’m not sure where that would be though, since none of us really knows where Chell went after GLaDOS let her go. There’s… no real guarantee that she has a computer with internet access, or even a TV…

That many?  Really?

Oh, well, that is certainly a relief.  Not sure how I would handle that sort of thing.  Kind of strange to think about, really.  I would like more friends, especially ones that wouldn’t crush me or send me into space.  Those are the best sort of friends.  I like those kind of friends.  (It’s nearly Christmas already?  Not that we celebrate any holidays in the facility, but it’s good to know around what time it is now.)

That’s understandable, though she’d probably want as far away from Aperture as possible.  There’s a thought, find the furthest place away and maybe she’ll be there.

Yes, that many, and probably more lurking in the depths of tumblr. Point is, there are a lot of us out there.

Well, I’m sure that a fair few of them are already following you, so you can always chat them up if you’re feeling particularly lonely. (Mmhm, yes. Christmas is just a little over two weeks away now… can’t wait to see some of the stuff I got, plus there’s always the plus of hanging out with family that I don’t see on a regular basis.)

Mmn, well… that still leaves a lot of ground to cover.

Oh, by the way. Remember how we originally started talking on this particular thread about the keychain in the picture? Well, I have one of those now- sitting right here on my desk next to Algie, as a matter of fact. It was an early Christmas gift from one of my friends… so now I have at least a miniature Wheatley of my own. (The torch in your optic is bloody bright though, yeesh)

It’s still rather…new to have people like me and all.  Last thing I expected, really.  It’s like an army or something.  An army just lurking out there, somewhere.  Waiting for me.  Not sure if I like that.  Not sure at all.

True, true, got a nice handful of followers, not to brag or anything.  (Sounds rather nice!  There is one thing I want for Christmas, a spaceship of some sort.  Yes, a working spaceship to take me back to Earth.  That’d be nice.)

Unfortunately, yes.  It’s a big world, though it does look tiny from space.  No bigger than…well…a core.

Oh!  Very nice!  (Well, I’m not dim, you know.)

Hey, just remember that they all want to be your friend, Wheatley. An army of people that want to be your friend.

Heh, well. Probably have more followers than me, that’s for sure…
(I really wish I could provide that. I really do.)

I’m pretty sure we can eliminate the other countries from that list though. I don’t think she would have gotten that far away… so Chell is probably still in the US somewhere. Probably.

I’m pretty happy about it, yeah… I’d rather have the actual you - much better company - but beggars can’t be choosers. (No, of course not - but you definitely don’t want to get this torch pointed at your eyes- or optic.)

It’s just a bit…overwhelming.  Quite overwhelming.  Never had that many people that liked me before, you know.

I’ve got 24 followers, not too shabby, not too shabby indeed.  (Thanks for the thought anyways.  Maybe put the word out to everybody else, if you don’t mind.  Somebody out there has got to be able to help.)

Probably.  Or, she could be in Mexico.  There is a chance, a very slight one, that she might could speak Spanish.  If she does, she might go there.  Have an advantage and all.  Not to brag, but I do know Spanish myself!

Thank you, I do like to think I’m pretty good company.  Much better than a silent chunk of plastic.  Even if said chunk of plastic looks like me.  (…Is it a laser?  Those…well, those hurt if you look into them.  Just to let you know.)